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SKETCH EXCERPT
(FDA CREW RAIDING "MARLA'S PRESERVES", A SMALL PRESERVES
BUSINESS THAT MARLA RUNS OUT OF HER COTTAGE)
FDA
DIRECTOR
Now listen up. We have here a court order
directing this plant to cease and desist, at once, from all
manufacturing of preserves, jellies, jams, and marmalades alike.
That means you too, Grandma. Put the untested fruit pastes
down.
. . .
(FDA DIRECTOR TALKING
TO HIS FRIEND "TED" IN A VILE PHARMACEUTICALS
PLANT)
FDA DIRECTOR
Well, Ted, I’m doing
everything I can to stop these quote, “Nutritionists” from
introducing fruits and vegetables as a means to quote, “Treat and
prevent.” But it’d be a heck of a lot easier to rid the marketplace
of these pests if I had the clinical report on your new Fruit and
Vegetable Inhibitor.
TED
Oh! Right-right.
I wanted to talk to you about that. There’s been some complications
with testing.
Take a walk with me.
. . .
FDA DIRECTOR
(re: inhibitor
killed sheep during testing)
Look, Ted, I know how you feel.
But product testing isn’t perfect. And keep in mind, this product
isn’t meant for sheep consumption. It’s meant for
human
consumption.
TED
You’re right, Mark.
You’re right.
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