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SKETCH EXCERPT
CHRISTOPHER FLOCKTON
....Now
we go up close and personal. Want to take the #1 sex icon out on a
date?
(THE ENTIRE CREW GLOWS W/ ANTICIPATION)
CHRISTOPHER FLOCKTON
Well, we
can’t make Beyonce want you. But if you’re lucky enough to win the
heart of Ms. ‘Juju’ Knowles for the evening, here’s what you might
want to do:
First, have your great grandparents make the
dinner reservations, twenty years before you were born. And by
great grandparents, I mean, Adam and Eve.. Then, win the Powerball,
at its peak. And for your sake, I hope you take the lump sum option,
because you’ll probably burn through the entire winnings before the
SOUFFLE COURSE. And THAT’S if you go DUTCH! -- which I don’t
recommend.. And how much should you leave for the tip? Well, let’s
just say, if the waiter doesn’t quit his job and retire beachfront
in Palm Springs, it probably wasn’t enough to impress former
Destiny’s Child Diva. But, maybe a date with God’s most electrifying
creature was shooting a little too high. But, on the bright
side, I’m sure if you reincarnate as Jesus Christ, you might be able
to convince Beyonce to take you out in her yacht for the day.. BUT
DON’T COUNT ON IT! So far, she’s only taken her beloved dog,
Munchie, aboard - the value of which would have easily swayed Christ
to betray himsellllf... When we come back, we’ll show you more easy
ways to live the unimaginable lifestyle of Beyonce Knowles....
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