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| Below are the
titles and descriptions for a group of Benjamin Ligeri's
scripted sketches. |
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RECURRING
CHARACTER/THEME
SKETCHES |
|
THE "CLINICALLY NORMAL"
THOMPSON FAMILY
The episodic
adventures of a perfectly normal teenaged girl, Chelsea Thompson,
and her "clinically normal" family. Her dad, Mitchell, is an
"overprotective lunatic". Her mom, Lori, is a "paranoid crackpot".
And her brother, Jason, has "Compulsive
Impulsiveness
Disorder".
'FUTURE NEWSWATCH 10'
A news station
(that reports, not on the top news of the DAY, but on the top news
of the NEXT DAY) allows its viewers to brace themselves for
what lies ahead, instead of idly waiting... What??!! Where do they
get such implausible, futuristic content?? Well, having
Nostradamus and sometimes Nostra-Bush-Damus on your
side, certainly makes it easier.
CALVARY BAPTIST CHURCH
A fundamental
interpretation by Calvary Baptist Church leader, Pastor Baker, of
"God's" word, or more aptly, "Pastor Baker's" word, attracts a very
large crowd of "Fundamentalist Christians" -- actually, it's a crowd
just shy of TEN regulars who all congregate in the
condemned basement of an abandoned street-front barber
shop.
THE ANALWARTS FAMILY
John Analwart,
an ultra-successful broker of foreign mergers, and his prodigy
family, The Analwarts, are a completely conventional prodigy family,
except for their attention-getting last name - but it is a
curse..? OR, is it a very, very, very big
blessing..?
THE REAL PRESIDENT BUSH
Episodes begin
with President Bush confounding the masses at a weekly press
conference; then he is followed behind closed doors to where he
drops his "Idiot Persona" and unmasks his true identity as "The Real
Bush" - a man with a brilliance that would make Einstein
look braindead... In one episode, we discover that Karl Rove is an
android programmed by Bush.
"THAT SALESMAN"
A woman with a
shrill, ear-piercing tone of voice, unwittingly drives everyone
crazy (except her loving husband) with her EMPHATIC stories of how
she stood up against "THAT SALESMAN!"
"THE REPRESSED MIDDLE-CLASS
HUSBAND"
David is a docile,
middle-aged suburbanite who is too meek to stand up to
anyone, especially his own wife. But when pushed to "the
brink", he unleashes a second self to handle his
confrontations - a raving, homicidal maniac! But when he
returns to normalcy, the suburbanite world around him does
too.
'CAUGHT ON TAPE'
From Red Bull
factories being foolishly mistaken for Meth Houses, to Cows
speaking only in the presence of hidden cameras, the all new
'Caught On Tape' series captures the most shocking discoveries
imaginable.
"JUST ONE INTEREST"
The adventures
of a 12-year-old boy with "just one interest" - an excessive interest
that lies solely in "wet negros". Jimmy is indifferent to toys,
candy, and everything else in the world (including "dry negros")
but, make no mistake, he has an uncontrollable interest in wet
negros. If you're having trouble understanding what this all means,
"you’re not the fiiiiiiirst".
"THE WESLEY JOHNSON SHOW"
Wesley Johnson
delivers absurdly trite and ill-formed talks to a national audience,
on various topics of self-betterment. Five shows have been RECORDED
"LIVE" and then transcripted.
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SINGLE
CHARACTER/THEME
SKETCHES |
|
TROOPER JOHNSON
The dedicated
Trooper Johnson pulls over a pair of sexy club girls who try
flirting and revealing their breasts to take Johnson's mind off
the speeding ticket -- but they land themselves in
even more trouble, because when it comes to hetero-sexual
advances from his detainees, Trooper Johnson diligently follows the
law to the LETTER.
THE LAID-OFF STOCKBROKER
A conservative
stockbroker gets "laid-off" from Goldman Sachs and has to break the
news to his wife that he took a job at a gay porn site, as a last
resort. She's already frazzled enough, but she just thinks he's
going to be doing "Earnings Statements" for ArmyCock.com. Well,
sorry, that's only 4% of
it.
THE COOL "BLACK" GUY
Jerome, a
white guy with a split personality of acting both "Black" and
"White" (and "Renaissance White"), drives white girl, Sara, crazy
with lust when he's acting Black, and cold as a stone when he's
acting White. But WHY the split
personality..??
THE BEN FRANKLIN REPORT
Dad catches
his son, Joshua, on a trampling/facesitting fetish website, when his
son is supposed to be learning about Ben Franklin for his report due
the next day -- Dad's reactions are just not the
"norm"...
THE IBRAHAM CLINIC
A doctor of
OB/GYN, Dr. Ibraham, is quite particular in his patient selection,
but his uncompromising dedication can be surprisingly
comforting.
THE SENSITIVE COUPLE
Oversensitive, Lori, and her over-insensitive
husband, Mark, PROVE that opposites don't
attract.
THE BROKER'S CLUB
A group of
Wall Street businessmen, led by Phil, their idol of super-success,
wind down after a hectic day in an upscale establishment. And the
evening would've almost been perfect if only the new server,
Stephanie, could’ve stopped interjecting her unwanted approval of a
series of "sexy drinks" that Phil tries to reward the gang
with.
PRAIRIE HOUSE PROBLEMS
A traditional
prairie house with contemporary technological and
domestic
problems.
MACROBIOTIC MCDONALDS
An ordinary day at
McDonalds, after the fast food giant's merger with the
‘International Macrobiotic Shiatsu Society’, that is... "Did
Somebody Say Macrobiotic McDonalds?"
AFTERNOON BARBECUE
Bill throws a
barbecue for coworkers, but can’t understand why they don’t want to
eat the grill meats he cooked to perfection, just because he touched
himself before hand-rubbing on the
condiments.
GEICO BOARD MEETING
A
behind-the-scenes look at GEICO CEO Tony Nicely making the selection
for GEICO’s next ad campaign.
ANGRY BLACK WIDOW
After a petite
White man's 400-pound Black wife (Mokisha)
suffers a heart
attack and dies--from beating him with a dressing room door for
talking to a White girl--he has an "affair" with that "White
girl", and Mokisha comes back from the dead for
revenge.
ASSAULTED AFRICAN AMERICAN WOMEN'S
HELPLINE
The President of
the ‘Assaulted Women's Helpline’ must summon the services of the
President of "The Coalition Against Assaulted African American
Women", Ms. Nimeesha Angelou, in order to develop an ad that
better relates to African American
Women. |
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COMMERCIAL/INFOMERCIAL/P.S.A
PARODIES
[for
NON-existing products and
services] |
CANCER ON
DEMAND
A cancer
delivery product for people suffering from "Lack of Cancer
Depression". Why WAIT?? for cancer?? When you can get it ON DEMAND!!
THE CIVILIZED CAR
HORN
Soon to be standard on all cars - a
tranquil "waterfall alert" replaces the traditional, hellraising car
horn "honk alert" and an advanced computer simulation fembot voice
uses a gentle, soothing tongue to transform harsh road
exchanges into civilized
communication.
PORN
STAR TO GO
A service for the woman who
can't stand being pestered by her husband for sex - an on-call porn
star will arrive at notice to do the "dirty work" for
her.
WHISTLEBLOWER FROM LEVITRA
Former
spokesman for Levitra’s "4-hour erection warning" blows the
whistle on Levitra and reveals the true side effects of
the medication.
THE
PERSONAL DIET BUDDY
Responding to the obesity
epidemic and unsuccessful diet programs, a miniature robotic
weight-loss coach - ‘Buddy’ - emerges to inspire overweight people
to stop themselves from eating. He can be quite tough, but he’s also
quite effective.
THE
DONNER GOAT TRAP
A salesman
guru, Ted Donner, who poses as a mere "servant of the hunting
community" successfully relates to every demographic in order
to sell a much needed goat trap for an
infomercial. |
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COMMERCIAL/INFOMERCIAL/P.S.A
PARODIES
[for existing products
and
services] |
|
SIM ATROCITY
The tyranny
of the Stalin Regime turns into the tyranny of your wildest
imagination - only on Playstation.
IMPOSSIBLE IS NOTHING
There
is NO impossible for Adidas when it comes to appealing to
their Black consumer base.
ANTI-SMOKING CAMPAIGN
In
this P.S.A., the "Anti-smoking Department" at Philip Morris makes it
very "appealing" for teenagers to avoid the nasty habit of
smoking and of dating people with the nasty
habit.
GEICO THUGS
A
commercial version of the 'theme sketch': GEICO BOARD
MEETING.
ASSAULTED "WOMEN'S" HELPLINE
A
commercial version of the 'theme sketch': ASSAULTED AFRICAN AMERICAN
WOMEN'S HELPLINE.
'DADDY O' PRODUCTIONS
A
sneak preview of the making of the next 'Overstock.com'
commercial.
DON'T
JUDGE TOO QUICKLY
Ameriquest
Mortgage turns out to be much more of an open-minded
and equal opportunity lendor than even their own ad campaign
depicts. |
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"TEN-MINUTE
SKETCHES"
* * these are extended sketches
that run between 8-12 minutes in length in their "full scope" --
shorter versions are available and/or can be made from them as
well. |
|
THE DONNER GOAT TRAP
**SEE
ABOVE
VH1'S
THE FABULOUS LIFE OF... BEYONCE
A
behind-the-scenes look at the restructuring of VH1's "The Fabulous
Life Of..." series. Christopher Flockton has been charged with one
impossible mission: To present the electrifying lifestyle of Beyonce
in a way that does not alienate the
viewers.
F.D.A. RECONNAISSANCE
Covert FDA
operatives try to protect the public by raiding ‘Marla's Preserves’
and by helping a pharmaceutical company get their deadly "Fruit
& Vegetable Inhibitor" on the market
immediately.
GOD'S PLAN FOR 'FANTINE'
Broadway's
Opening Night for Les Miserables is drawing near. But out of sheer
perfectionism, the head producer has still not settled on his
Fantine.. When a last-minute auditioner, by the name of "Fantine",
auditions perfectly, he assigns her the role -- but when it turns
out that certain words in Fantine's solo trigger outbursts of foul
words as part of her very rare medical condition: "Unconscious
Involuntary Vocal Gestational Tourette's Syndrome", the head
producer is faced with a choice: a 20 million dollar medical
discrimination lawsuit, or a Les Miserables with foul outbursts of
"Unconscious
Involuntary Vocal Gestational Tourette's Syndrome".
It's not an
easy choice. |
| SPEC
SKETCHES |
|
BILL
BRASKY... IN A GAY BAR
Using the
framework for 'SNL's "BILL BRASKY..." series, "BILL
BRASKY... IN A GAY BAR" is another take -- this time, Brasky's
cohorts frequent airport gay bar: The Tool
Box. |
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